Side questLevel 15
Quest giver S'nairoh
in Western La Noscea
S'nairoh talks herself through arming the cannon while you fight; her partner C'mell is missing. The 'enemy' is only newborn puks, flying beasts that never threatened Aleport. She is let down: she joined the Maelstrom to fight, not to break up brawls.
Comic relief at Aleport's garrison that introduces Commander Falkbryda
of Camp Skull Valley.
Aleport and Camp Skull Valley (Ch. 7): the coast where the envoy's tour begins, facing the Sahagin and pirate smugglers.
needs your help in the defense of Aleport., her first taste of war comes when she has naught but a passing adventurer to serve as her shield. You are charged with slaying five puk hatchlings while she arms the cannon..Next in the play order: Mountains out of Molehills. S'nairoh mistakes harmless hedgemoles for an attack of adamantoises (giant tortoises) and must stand down again.
The lines worth a second look, in the order you hear them, and what each one means.
So far, so good! I'll just get C'mell and...C'mell? That girl! Always nowhere to be found when she's needed. Fine, Sarge always said to improvise!
This is probably a nod. S'nairoh's cannon partner C'mell is away. C'mell shares her name with the cat-woman of Cordwainer Smith's 1962 short novel 'The Ballad of Lost C'Mell'.
What? They weren't attacking Aleport? Well, that's...! What, we're not important enough? They were just babies? Well, you'd have to be duller than a box of hair to fly at a cannon position, times being what they are!
The 'attack' on Aleport turns out to be a group of newborn puks. The quest journal teases both sides as beginners: the defender and the attackers alike.
Encyclopaedia Eorzea says the puk strongly defends its own area. It also has a quick temper. It will jump at intruders many times its own size without stopping to think.
The title changes the saying 'don't quit your day job'. People say it to someone who is trying something too hard for them. Here the new recruit S'nairoh battles newborn puks. Her real work is stopping fights.
Who they are, and what they do in this quest.
S'nairoh is a new private in the Maelstrom, Limsa Lominsa's forces, at an Aleport cannon. She has only seen street and tavern brawls. Now she spots enemies in the sky.
S'nairoh talks herself through arming the cannon while you fight; her partner C'mell is missing. The 'enemy' is only newborn puks, flying beasts that never threatened Aleport. She is let down: she joined the Maelstrom to fight, not to break up brawls.
The game was written in Japanese and rewritten, not just translated, for each language. Here is what the other versions say, next to the English.
| Japanese | 黒渦団新兵、発奮す ‘Maelstrom Recruit, Fired Up’ |
|---|---|
| French | Les joies du canon ‘The Joys of the Cannon’ |
| German | Der eifrige Sturmmariner ‘The Eager Storm Mariner’ |
Hark, enemy in the sky! P-Pull yourself together, private! Y-You've been trained for this─even if the only action you've ever seen has been street fights, tavern brawls, and fisticuffs over who cheated at checkers...
Wenn wir fallen, ist als Nächstes ... Limsa Lominsa dran!
‘If we fall, next up is ... Limsa Lominsa!’
ここはリムサ・ロミンサの貿易拠点だ……。
‘This is Limsa Lominsa's trading base...’
English has her recall only street fights, brawls and checkers fisticuffs; German warns Limsa Lominsa is next if they fall.
English has her recall only street fights, brawls and checkers fisticuffs; Japanese stresses this is Limsa Lominsa's trading base.
First things first, I must ready the cannon. Now, to walk myself through the steps. Um...right! “Make certain you are with succor, for arming a cannon is no swift matter.”
Damit blasen wir sie weg!
‘We'll blast them away with those!’
そうか、このカノン砲で吹っ飛ばせば！
‘I see, if I blast them away with this cannon!’
German has her hit on the idea of blasting the enemy; English has her recite the cannon drill from memory.
Japanese has her suddenly think of blasting them with the cannon; English has her recite the drill.
So far, so good! I'll just get C'mell and...C'mell? That girl! Always nowhere to be found when she's needed. Fine, Sarge always said to improvise!
Es war für mich nicht leicht, in den Mahlstrom aufgenommen zu werden.
‘It was not easy for me to be accepted into the Maelstrom.’
いや、念願の「黒渦団」に入団できたんだ。
‘No, I finally got into the Maelstrom I longed for.’
English has her complain that C'mell is never around; German has her recall how hard joining the Maelstrom was.
English has her complain that C'mell is never around; Japanese has her note she finally joined the Maelstrom she longed for.
So far, so good! I'll just get C'mell and...C'mell? That girl! Always nowhere to be found when she's needed. Fine, Sarge always said to improvise!
Jetzt muss ich zeigen, was ich draufhabe.
‘Now I have to show what I'm made of.’
ここでいいところを見せて、認めてもらわないと！
‘I have to show my stuff here and earn recognition!’
English recalls Sarge's advice to improvise; German says she must now show what she's made of.
English recalls Sarge's advice to improvise; Japanese says she must show her worth and get recognized.
What? They weren't attacking Aleport? Well, that's...! What, we're not important enough? They were just babies? Well, you'd have to be duller than a box of hair to fly at a cannon position, times being what they are!
Ich kann sie getrost ignorieren?
‘I can safely ignore them?’
もしかして、放っておいてもいい魔物……？
‘Could they be monsters we can just leave alone...?’
English has her indignant that they're not important enough; German just asks if she can safely ignore them.
English has her indignant that they're not important enough; Japanese wonders if they're monsters she can leave alone.
I suppose all's well that ends well. But...I must admit I was looking forward to putting my training to real use. I didn't join the Maelstrom to break up brawls, you know. And now I shall have to clean the cannon.
なんだ、よかった……けど…………ああ、また空回りしちゃった。砲弾と火薬を取りだして、掃除しないとなぁ……。
‘Oh, good... but... Ah, I spun my wheels again. I'll have to take out the shells and powder and clean it...’
空回り (karamawari), 'spinning idly', is zeal that goes round without result. The word 'again' makes it a habit, her refrain for two more quests.
I suppose all's well that ends well. But...I must admit I was looking forward to putting my training to real use. I didn't join the Maelstrom to break up brawls, you know. And now I shall have to clean the cannon.
Ach, und die Ladestöcke und die Lunten und die Zünder und die Radspeeren und ...
‘Oh, and the ramrods and the slow matches and the fuses and the wheel spokes and ... Oh dear!’
German has her list an endless string of gear to put away; English mentions only cleaning the cannon.
Highlighted words have a note: click one to open it under the line.
Hark, enemy in the sky! P-Pull yourself together, private! Y-You've been trained for this─even if the only action you've ever seen has been street fights, tavern brawls, and fisticuffs over who cheated at checkers...
Wenn wir fallen, ist als Nächstes ... Limsa Lominsa dran!
‘If we fall, next up is ... Limsa Lominsa!’
Japaneseここはリムサ・ロミンサの貿易拠点だ……。
‘This is Limsa Lominsa's trading base...’
English has her recall only street fights, brawls and checkers fisticuffs; German warns Limsa Lominsa is next if they fall.
English has her recall only street fights, brawls and checkers fisticuffs; Japanese stresses this is Limsa Lominsa's trading base.
First things first, I must ready the cannon. Now, to walk myself through the steps. Um...right! “Make certain you are with succor, for arming a cannon is no swift matter.”
Damit blasen wir sie weg!
‘We'll blast them away with those!’
Japaneseそうか、このカノン砲で吹っ飛ばせば！
‘I see, if I blast them away with this cannon!’
German has her hit on the idea of blasting the enemy; English has her recite the cannon drill from memory.
Japanese has her suddenly think of blasting them with the cannon; English has her recite the drill.
So far, so good! I'll just get C'mell and...C'mell? That girl! Always nowhere to be found when she's needed. Fine, Sarge always said to improvise!
This is probably a nod. S'nairoh's cannon partner C'mell is away. C'mell shares her name with the cat-woman of Cordwainer Smith's 1962 short novel 'The Ballad of Lost C'Mell'.
Es war für mich nicht leicht, in den Mahlstrom aufgenommen zu werden.
‘It was not easy for me to be accepted into the Maelstrom.’
Japaneseいや、念願の「黒渦団」に入団できたんだ。
‘No, I finally got into the Maelstrom I longed for.’
English has her complain that C'mell is never around; German has her recall how hard joining the Maelstrom was.
English has her complain that C'mell is never around; Japanese has her note she finally joined the Maelstrom she longed for.
Jetzt muss ich zeigen, was ich draufhabe.
‘Now I have to show what I'm made of.’
Japaneseここでいいところを見せて、認めてもらわないと！
‘I have to show my stuff here and earn recognition!’
English recalls Sarge's advice to improvise; German says she must now show what she's made of.
English recalls Sarge's advice to improvise; Japanese says she must show her worth and get recognized.
You over there! Adventurer, Limsa Lominsa has need of your service! Slow down the enemy while I arm the cannon. I'll be ready ere the fifth carcass is cold, I promise you!
Ready to fire! I keep my promises, adventurer─and you keep your skills well honed, I see! A moment, I just received a dispatch...
What? They weren't attacking Aleport? Well, that's...! What, we're not important enough? They were just babies? Well, you'd have to be duller than a box of hair to fly at a cannon position, times being what they are!
The 'attack' on Aleport turns out to be a group of newborn puks. The quest journal teases both sides as beginners: the defender and the attackers alike.
Ich kann sie getrost ignorieren?
‘I can safely ignore them?’
Japaneseもしかして、放っておいてもいい魔物……？
‘Could they be monsters we can just leave alone...?’
English has her indignant that they're not important enough; German just asks if she can safely ignore them.
English has her indignant that they're not important enough; Japanese wonders if they're monsters she can leave alone.
I suppose all's well that ends well. But...I must admit I was looking forward to putting my training to real use. I didn't join the Maelstrom to break up brawls, you know. And now I shall have to clean the cannon.
なんだ、よかった……けど…………ああ、また空回りしちゃった。砲弾と火薬を取りだして、掃除しないとなぁ……。
‘Oh, good... but... Ah, I spun my wheels again. I'll have to take out the shells and powder and clean it...’
空回り (karamawari), 'spinning idly', is zeal that goes round without result. The word 'again' makes it a habit, her refrain for two more quests.
Ach, und die Ladestöcke und die Lunten und die Zünder und die Radspeeren und ...
‘Oh, and the ramrods and the slow matches and the fuses and the wheel spokes and ... Oh dear!’
German has her list an endless string of gear to put away; English mentions only cleaning the cannon.
of Camp Skull Valley: she takes over S'nairoh's chain (Nest We Forget) and returns at the end of Ahldfoet
's (Scythe Extra Large, I Hereby Relieve You).